Wednesday, June 24, 2009
sometimes, just sometimes,i thought it was the matter of time
till i had a hundred reasons
not to think about you
i've still got your face,
painted on my heart,
drawn upon my soul,
etched upon my memory.
***
this is it.
i've done too many sacrificial acts.
i gotta stop this instance.
perhaps i wasn't in the dark after all.
i saw the light reappearing when i trusted that it was going to be impossible.
and i finally knew why, today.
i told myself.
sometimes i have to walk in the dark in order to see the light.
***
day, so-so
mood, still finding out
punctuality, zero
life, failure.
after a demanding lists scanned through my head,
i finally approached school.
knowing that it would be boring.
but i just had to.
I HAD TO
something tells me that if i don't go,
well, i might just rot in front of the comp/TV/temptations
LOL
no lah. i did it for friends who love, care, and had endured much pain with me.
i can't simply bail them out just because im a lazyhead right?
i dragged my feet to the hall without falling asleep!
YAY. now that's what we call improvement
ai-seh!
***
ceramah BM -tatabahasa
not such a good idea.
it was..
it was...
a restless moment.
a bed would definately be heaven on earth right then,
but my eyelids seem to disagree.
the lecturer went on and on and on.
little did i know, i was actually learning some pretty amazing stuffs.
LOL
im serious.
***
SEXUALITY.
*drumrolls*
i suddenly had an urge.
to run far, far away.
i knew it was gonna be awful.
but, it ended up being resourceful.
i think.
blahs.
conclusion given by lecturer:
-don't trust guys, they lie.
my question: erm, what if my heart is the one who is lying?
would it count?
(i obviously didnt ask it.)
***
oh. another thing. last night i couldn't sleep early. so i took out a piece a paper & started writing. just a sympathatic message to myself, i guess.
but here's how it goes.
i stared at the clock.
it was a precise 10.38
nothing more, nothing less.
everything is in ruins
& deep down,
there's a voice.
asking to stop. just stop
it has to be small steps at a time
right then, i realised that i was isolated
far, far away from your heart.
somehow over the rainbow,
behind the rain,
i know that i musn't let go,
one slip and there goes everything.
10.42 now.
eyes opened wide, i ask myself
must i take a step nearer before you take 10 steps closer?
absolutely not.
i've said it and i'll say this again.
IT'S NOT UP TO ME ANYMORE.
IF YOU WANT ME IN YOUR LIFE
YOU MUST FIND A WAY TO PUT ME IN
or else, someone else will.
Dear Heart,
help. i've done it again.
beep * 10.49 *
i said to myself
.:: stop dreaming ::.
she PMS like a bitch i would know.
what we could have been, 11:00 PM.
